Any Dream Will Do. . .

I have to admit. I do have a dream. It's kind of embarrassing and I'll probably get made fun of for it. Ever since I was young------er, like pre-marriage/divorce, I have had a dream that one day I could sing a duet, with Donny Osmond, on stage. I know right! Pretty awesome dream! I mean it's not in any way lame, embarrassing, cliche Mormon, etc. No, it is a totally legit dream!

Make fun all you want. I do totally *heart* Donny Osmond, and I do wish I could sing a duet with him. It would be pretty awesome in my book!

I pulled up videos of Donny Osmond performing in Joseph and the. . . .(Hopefully you know how the rest of that title goes). And it brought back some fond memories. This was one of those Broadway albums that I listened to over and over again, trying my best to learn the part of The Narrator. And, yes, I would even act it out in my front room sometimes. Donny received high praise for his acting abilities in Joseph. . . .and I totally would not take any other cast recording other than the one with Mr. Osmond as the lead (P.S. if you want the one with Donny I believe its the Canadian Cast).

It was fun to watch my kids take an interest in the videos, I may have to get the DVD. But it got me thinking about my life and my dreams, and if I really even have any.

I live life day to day. I don't think that far into the future. I don't really try to plan for the future. I'm just trying to survive the here and now. It's hard for me to sacrifice now in hopes of a better future because I just want to make sure we can get by, so I do my best to make that happen.

It was interesting  to watch Joseph get sold into slavery and get sent to prison, and all the other things that happened to him before he rose up to the top. It's interesting how horrible of a situation he found himself in, but it was exactly the situation that lead to him becoming a great leader in Egypt. Strange what life does to us. Not many find themselves lower than Joseph found himself, and yet somehow he managed to rise so far above it.

I look around at my life. How little resources I feel I have. How little options I can see. I'm not a talented person. I don't have any skills or training that would make me of value in the workplace. . .or. . .well anywhere or to anyone. I don't really know what to do with my life. Sometimes I just sit back and try to see what happens, go where the wind takes me. Then sometimes I think about if I should take initiative and go back to school, but a million subjects I should study pop up and. . .I just don't know what to do.

I once dreamed about becoming an actor and performing on stage. I went to school for it. I sought out jobs in that field. I studied Broadway and musicals. I paid for voice lessons. I practiced singing and acting in my living room at night. I wanted to go to New York. I wanted to make it big! But I don't know if I ever saw that as a real reality or just a silly dream. I mean it is kind of silly, but people do do it. People who aren't shy and crippled by stage fright that is. And people who have more than just an average voice and average looks. Lets face it. I didn't stand out in theater, and I probably never would. Plus working at a certain professional theater in Utah kind of killed my theater buzz. And dreams like this don't work well when you have kids.

I mean should we have dreams? Should we have things we want to do? Is going wherever life takes you a plan in and of itself? Should I seek more direction? Should I set a goal and strive to achieve it? What do I want out of life? Hmmm. . . .Its hard to think of something when you feel like you have nothing, but Joseph had nothing too. But he also sort of went where the wind took him. . .

I don't know what the answers are. I don't know what my dreams are. I love to write, so I start blogs. I have even started some books, and one is almost complete. I think if I were to choose something. I would choose that, and I would put my focus there. But I have to admit that dream of publishing a book, that people actually like, is one of those fantasies I never cared to imagine as being real. Just a nice little dream to help put me to sleep at night.

No, I have no answers. I don't know what my dreams or goals are. I just go where the wind. . .well you know the rest. I seek God's guidance and try my best to go where he leads me. I guess my life will be just as much a mystery to me as it is to the fine folk who choose to read these posts.

Any dream will do. . .will see what dreams may come in my life.