Are You a Pinky Pie?

So I have been a big "My Little Pony" fan my whole life. I have my entire collection of ponies saved from childhood. I played with my ponies all the time. I even wanted to grow to be a "My Little Pony"-- those closest to me have heard that story way too many times by now.

Recently we have started watching the new TV show with our kids. I should note we have all boys, but yet they love "My Little Pony". I was so excited to finally pull out the toys from my childhood for them to play with . I even bought them a Rainbow Dash which they sleep with every night. And me and my husband have been getting sucked into the series as well. In fact, sometimes I want to watch it even when my kids are asleep. I know, I'm super crazy.

I have since picked out a favorite pony and that is Pinky Pie. Soon after dubbing her my favorite pony. I noticed that I tend to always pick the cooky, little, crazy, fun loving, hyper active character as my favorite. This got me thinking, "Am I a Pinky Pie?"

My first reaction is no. I tend to be a highly depressed individual. I live very much in reality. I have protested my whole life that I will find a way to have my happy ending, but my dreams have been beaten down, and they are slowly fading away.

But as I look back on my life and see all the times that someone, or something, has attempted to beat-- not literally-- the happy, hyper, crazy out of me, or that my trusting, and forgiving nature has been taken advantage of, I have managed to hang on to a part of me that laughs and smiles and knows that reality totally bites but I can still giggle and throw parties.

I do live in reality. I'm very much aware of reality. Even though I seem to live in a fantasy, or think, or dream, things that are probably unattainable, I keep my feet firmly planted in the real world. I don't know if I can explain it. I have very much been affected by many hardships that are real and hard, and that have attempted to destroy my belief that there is happiness out there. But the happy side of me isn't rooted in what happens in my reality. It's rooted in me. My mood can swing terribly based on my surroundings and experiences. I have definitely let things get me down. And you certainly won't find me nearly as crazy and excited when my life is hitting a low. But even with all I've gone through I have still managed to find a way to laugh, smile and find joy. And it isn't by ignoring reality it's by laughing, and singing, and smiling in its face. :)

I may, at times, seem crazy optimistic and like I don't understand the darker side of things. I really honestly do. And I may, at times, seem like a big depressed doubter who has given up on life too. But I do know that there is still joy to be found. I just need my joy to be real. My happiness can't be rooted in some optimistic form of rose colored glasses. My happiness needs to be rooted in life, friends, family and knowing that I can laugh and smile even through the worst trials of my life.

Maybe being a Pinky Pie isn't about being this total crazy, happy person because your world is full of perfection. Maybe it's about being totally crazy and happy even when your world is falling a part-- you know, since Ponyville is full of all sorts of major disasters and hardships. Pretty deep for "My Little Ponies" I know.

I don't know if I'm a Pinky Pie or not. It would be nice to think of myself as that happy and optimistic. She really is my favorite! And I love my little Beanie Baby that my husband bought for me. It's so cute! I just think it's funny that I am drawn to these characters and all their craziness. Maybe it's something I aspire to be. I don't know. But I think I've managed to keep my happiness about me pretty well considering the things that have happened to me :).