Happy Mother's Day

I hope everyone enjoyed their Mother's Day. Mine was pretty good. Craig and I woke up early and went looking for a van on Saturday, I used some student loan money to put together a down payment. Then I went to a cleaning appointment. I rushed to get to a bridal shower. Then headed to pick up the boys. The plan was to head out and get some gifts for all the mom's in our lives.

Sadly I ended up getting upset with my mom. We left and tried to get into any little shops we could to find some gifts. The only place open was Deseret Book so we were scrambling all over the place trying to find any little things that the moms and grandmas might like.

Then we went to dinner at Applebees. It was a fun night in the sense that we did fun things, but it wasn't a fun night in the sense that I didn't have much patience, and we all had had a very long day.

On Sunday I just could not stomach going to church. Sometimes its just hard to have these days that are focused on you-- my birthday is the same way. I don't know if it's because I feel like I have to put the plans into making it fun and relaxing and so there just doesn't seem to be a point. Or maybe its because if I do demand my day be about me getting a break it ends taking such effort that I end up frustrated and upset. Then I feel like a spoiled brat, and then I just feel like a horrible mom, who doesn't deserve a special day. In someways I don't know how to handle the attention when I actually get it. But I don't know how to handle it when I don't get it either. I want someone to give me permission to take these days and enjoy them, but it never feels like I really get that. Like everything else in life I just need to give it to myself.

Anyway. . .I ended up not going to church. I got really upset with Big H that morning, and turned into monster mom. Then I really felt like I didn't want to celebrate mother's day. Well, Craig decided to treat me to a picnic up in the canyon.

The boys gave me their gifts.

They kept saying, "It's your birthday. Happy Birthday Mom!"

And we also made some gifts for the other mothers in our lives too.

We came home so Craig could go to work and then I went over to my parents so I could visit with my Grandma's.

And the day ended up being OK. My boys sweet, and forgiving, spirits made it worth celebrating.

I really do hope that everyone had a great Mother's Day. I really believe that women are incredibly valuable and important in God's eyes. And I know that I should truly live my life knowing that I am of value, and never give into the idea that I am worth less then it really am. So I need to try and let these days of celebration be everything they can be-- even if it's hard to accept that they can't be all that they promise to be.

Happy Mothers Day :)