So about a month ago, actually a month ago exactly, I took a trip to Ohio to visit my friend. I mentioned him earlier. He rode his bike across the USA-- seriously look up the story because it's awesome. I had so much fun!
One of the reasons for this trip, kind of, was to deliver this drawing. It's a little tribute I made for his incredible bike ride
I made him go to the Comic Book Convention with me. It was hard to choose between my Elektra costume and my Harley Quinn. But my friend is Catholic, so that added a little more pull to Elektra. How perfect it was to be Elektra escorted by a cute little Catholic boy. He didn't even need a costume.
I totally *heart* Sherlock. You can't top Mr. Cumberbatch
I finally found a me a Daredevil to pose with.
He had fun showing me Cincinnati and all his favorite things. He was especially sure to take me to the river because I was so excited about it. I fell in love with that river! I'd love to go back there and just sit on the little bench swing and watch the boats go by.
We went out after the Comic Book Convention. I had to change in the car and somehow style my hair after wearing a wig. I also had on tons of make-up because I didn't want to the wig to overpower my face. Upon using the restroom I took a glance in the mirror. I then had to apologize to my friend for having to escort a drag queen all over town. Oh it looked awful!
Hofbräuhaus
It was so much fun!
I had so much fun I took all my favorite experiences and squeezed them together in another drawing.
Not finished yet, but It was fun to create.
Yes it was quite an adventure! From trying to get my hair done before he got back and told me just to leave it, because it looked fine, to all the fun new experiences I got to share with a sweet friend. I miss it all! Especially the river. Oh man do I want to see that river again! Life is never dull with this guy around.
Small disclaimer:
Any questions regarding "this guy" and "what's going on" will most likely be answered vaguely. I don't want any advice or critiques, or to be accused of premature Facebook announcements. I am not responsible for the assumptions other's choose to make, or not make. I don't want to be told it's too little or too much. It is what it is and I just want to enjoy! Thank You! :)
I think the greatest thing about all of this is the experience. I get to embark on experiences I never had before. And that is really what this post is about.
Take this experience for example:
Last night I went with my friend to a bar in SLC to celebrate his birthday. It was a total blast, and it was an experience I would never have had if I had chosen to stay wrapped up in my little shell, drudging through life asking myself, "Is this really it?"
I hung out in a bar. I watched a bunch of people get drunk and crazy. I even got hit on by a girl-- totally don't swing that way but thanks for the offer. It sounds crazy, but it was fun! So fun!
So that's what I'm here to share. I used to be scared of the world. I used to be timid, and shy, and broken. So very broken. I looked at other women like me. Other women who had experiences like me. Women who had gone through similar hardships. And sometimes it seemed that person was still broken and hurt. Even after years and years. Even after managing to stay married. Even after all this, they were timid and scared. Not all of them were like this, and I don't know that I would necessarily say it was a mistake. Everyone has different paths, but that wasn't mine. It couldn't be mine. Please, God, don't let it be mine. I didn't want to end up like that. I didn't want to be scared for the rest of my life. So whether I stayed married or not, I was determined to become something more.
Nothing was going to stop me from living. Nothing was going to overpower me like that. Even if it was my own mind that was closing me in. I put my trust in God. I prayed to him daily. I let him transform me. And slowly he pulled of the layers. He stripped away the assumptions I thought were truths that would keep me safe from heartache. It was hard! Sometimes it was painful. Sometimes I just didn't want to do it anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I just want to go back. But He showed me a new life. He showed me new people. People I never would have met as the old me, married or not. And, you know what? I would never turn back. Even if it seems easier, and simpler. I would never trade it in.
The relationships I had in the past were all relationships that suited who I was at the time. But as I keep changing, learning and growing those relationships suit me less and less. I would never go back to them. Even for safety and security. But I also know I needed them to get me to where I am. They weren't a mistake. I like where I am. I like who I am becoming. And, though I may not repeat some of the things that have happened to me, I wouldn't take them back either.
I don't feel it's a mistake that I am where I am. Nor, would I say that everyone has to do as I did. We all need to find our own paths. I would only say this:
Just don't stay scared and broken!
